


Grounded in Mid-air

by islasands



Series: Lambski [11]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Love, Lultz, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-23
Updated: 2011-10-23
Packaged: 2017-10-24 22:00:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/268340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islasands/pseuds/islasands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And your relationship? How is that going?" the interviewer had asked. "I'm really, really happy," Adam had replied. "Our relationship has made me feel very grounded."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grounded in Mid-air

Adam watched Sauli carry his board down to the sea. It was almost twice his size, which fact amused Adam. He was such a strong little fucker, strong enough to carry Adam under his arm - and to be honest that pretty much described the way they met.

 _I might have held his head in my hands, after my usual ‘staking a claim’ fashion, but when we walked away, chatting and eyeing each other up, I already knew I was a goner. He had me tucked under his arm like that long board, and with exactly the same confidence, the same sense of adventure. Me? The one time I had a go at surfing I sank the board! And it was the same with my first go at love. I sank that too._

 _I like voyages of discovery as much as the next guy, but my brain is always equipment heavy. I over-think, over-process, - over possess! But not with Sauli. From the get go he has refused to let me absail down the cliff of this fall. And no heart parachutes allowed, either. It has been free-fall all the way, every scary what-the-fuck moment of our journey, with me holding his hand, his beautiful strong hand which time and time again he has used to steady me. “Don’t look down. Look at me.”_

 _When I talked of insecurities,  
_ _Lanterns appeared in his eyes  
_ _Lanterns to guide him across my flesh, my face_

 _And when I thought I would fail to please  
_ _The prisms of those tender skies  
_ _Left shards of blue in every place..._

At last he caught a wave. Adam laughed. He returned Sauli’s jubilant wave. God, it was good to be alone for a change. And to be outside. Their home was their refuge, yes, but right now it was filled to overflowing with the focus of his headspace.

 _And once the album hits, it will be all on. Oh God, look at him grinning at me. That smile. How did I get so lucky, though truth be told I love him best when he isn’t smiling, when I wake in the night and there he is, sleeping next to me, his arms and legs thrown over or around me, his eyelids like pale gold leaves, his lips outlined with a silver pencil, the planes of his face as beautiful and untouched as snow-covered mountain slopes. Listen to me. I can’t think of him without being a fucking poet!_

 _How will he cope? He won’t. He doesn’t believe in coping. He’ll do what he’s doing right now, trying his best to ride waves, and when he’s had enough he’ll do something else. To please himself. It’s not up to me._

 _Truth. I speak the truth. He is not the kind of person to go along with things. He prefers to say yes, or no. Even when he is most shy, like that red carpet time when I wanted him beside me, he meets my eyes with such unpolluted clarity of agreement it physically shocks me._

Sauli unzipped his wetsuit and pulled down the top half. He cast himself on the sand next to Adam. He grinned up at him. “Did you see me?” he asked, like a happy child. “I am so brave on the small wave!” He laughed. Adam couldn’t look at him. He tried to look at the sea but he couldn’t look at that either. He closed his eyes. He felt air rushing over his brain, a wind blowing inside his thoracic cavity. He felt Sauli’s hand on his thigh. To help stay his emotions, he began humming one of his new songs. Songs are not what you think, he thought to himself, and neither is love.

 _When I look into the heart of a song  
_ _I see arrows with words as their flights  
_ _And my heart bends like a bow;_

 _Is not left standing when they have gone;  
_ _Fearless of distance or heights  
_ _It follows where-ever they go..._

“I think that is my favourite,” Sauli said, commenting on the song. Adam laid down beside him, positioning himself favourably for a kiss. Sauli looked down. “The lanterns in your eyes are flickering,” Adam said. “They guide me home,” he added as the kiss he wanted approached his lips. He inwardly smiled as he felt himself floating away in the kiss.

 _Floating. Free-falling. At heights that frankly make me fear for my life!_ This _is what I mean when I say that falling in love has helped me feel grounded. Grounded in mid-air!_


End file.
